Do you ever find yourself lying in bed, feeling your thoughts flying around your brain? 

Wishing it would stop so you could go to sleep? 

That’s what my thoughts were doing one night when I first noticed it. 

As I was frustratedly trying to shut up my brain, I noticed that I was tensing my shoulders around my ears. 

What? 

I felt tense? 

How’s that possible, right?

I checked again, and sure enough my shoulders were up near my ears, but not in a relaxed, gravity’s-got-a-hold-of-them kind of way.

Now, I’d never noticed this before. 

As an experiment, I took a deep breath, and tried to relax.

Weirdly enough, as I exhaled and focused on ‘letting go of everything’, my head actually sunk into the pillow, and my shoulders relaxed away from my ears.  

‘That’s weird,’ I thought. ‘Good thing I caught it.’ 

Trying again to fall asleep, my thoughts again started racing around my head.

I checked my neck and shoulders, and guess what? 

My neck and shoulders had tensed up again.

Paying attention to it, I noticed – especially on days that had been particularly stressful – often I was in bed, falling asleep, tension my neck, shoulders and sometimes even my jaw. 

Was it just me, or was this something that happened to everyone?

I started asking my clients who were waking up with neck pain, to check their neck and shoulders in the evening as they fell asleep.

Turns out, it wasn’t just me.

Not only that, but when my clients started letting go of those muscles, they also weren’t waking up with stiff, sore necks as much anymore. 

It seemed to be linked to habit – tensing your muscles during the day, especially if it was a stressful day, meant they were more likely to be tensing their muscles while they were falling asleep, without realising it. 

If you’re waking up with a stiff neck and shoulders, here’s how you can check if you’re tensing them up as you fall asleep (and what you can do about it): 

Do You Hold Tension While You Sleep?

This is how you find the answer:

Tonight, when you’re in bed, trying to fall asleep, use this method to check your muscles for tension. 

First, do a quick body scan. Do you feel tight anywhere? Are you pulling your shoulders up, head up, or clenching your jaw?

If you’re not sure, don’t worry that’s okay. 

Next: take a nice, slow deep breath in (try to count to four).

As you exhale, let go of your head, your neck, your shoulders, and your face (I know, it sounds weird, but you’d be surprised how many people scrunch up their face when they’re not thinking about it).

You could also check hands, feet, and hips.

Imagine you’re letting your whole body – especially head, neck and shoulders – sink into your pillow and mattress. 

Now, did you feel your head sink lower into the pillow? Did your shoulders drop? Or did anything else feels a little heavier in your bedding?

If you answer yes to any of these questions – you’re holding tension without realising it.

And it’s probably not the first time; nor will it be the last.

Check in with yourself a couple more times as you’re falling asleep. If you were holding the tension without realising it before, it’s likely a bit of an unconscious habit. You’ll probably find your body tenses up again when you’re not paying attention.

By doing it a few times as you fall asleep, to start teaching your brain and body that holding that muscle tension isn’t necessary.

But don’t do this… 

You should be doing this a few times a night if you notice you have tension, to try and re-teach your body how to hold it. 

That said, don’t expect yourself to stop tensing up right away. 

I’ve had clients keep themselves awake because they kept checking. 

Accept that it will probably take a little while for you to re-train your body. 

Why Does This Happen?

When I tell clients this, they often ask, okay, why am I tensing in bed when I should be my most relaxed?

Usually muscle tension is a habit. 

If you’re tensing your muscles all day, you’re teaching your muscles that tensing up is normal. 

When you’re stressed, muscles tighten up as a reflex. 

Or, if you’re sitting at a desk and your head is forward of your body, or shoulders are rounded, your neck and shoulders tense up because they’re having to work harder than if you were in better alignment.* 

If you can work on your breathing to reduce the stress you feel, and improve your posture while seated (if you’re sitting/at a computer/at a desk while you work), you’ll start teaching your muscles they don’t need to be tensing all the time. 

You might then find it easier to relax at night, and not wake up sore and stiff in the morning. 

Your Next Steps

Try the breathe-and-sink technique tonight, as you’re falling asleep, to see if you’re holding tension right before you fall asleep.

If you do, notice where did you find that you could let go? Where were you holding tension?

And then, in the morning, did you feel like you slept differently, or woke up any less tight, stiff or sore than you usually do?

I’d love to know what you find so please share your results in the comments.

As mentioned above, if you’re stressed & shallow breathing, you’re tensing, and if you’re sitting with poor posture your muscles will be tensing.

For that reason I wanted to share two resources we have that can help you with these things: our breathing visualisation and our free desk posture checklist.